Have you ever had one of those days where you've done NOTHING with your day but feel we tired at the end of the day?
Or the other way round. You've had the best day ever and you feel so energised but you don't know why?
There's a reason for that and it's because energy that doesn't flow, rots.
The other day, I woke up and for some reason had this weight weighing down on me. I felt stagnant, drained and my mind was in overdrive. This was my day off and I wanted to make the most of it, so I grabbed Josh by the hand, put on some Taylor Swift and started dancing. I closed my eyes and just let my body do it's thing
Shake up, shake down, turn around, some back and forth boogies, SONG CHANGE, switch to rock & roll, funky dancing, smooth dancing, moonwalking, hair swivels...
For half and hour we danced from one song to another and finished totally out of breath and smiling. I physically felt the weight lift off my body.
Now the reason I shared this with you isn't so we all get up and start dancing together, (though I would love that!), it's because this applies to so many areas of our life.
When energy flows it ENERGISES, when it's stagnant it rots. Just like the gunky water of a lake vs. the clear water of a rushing river. We are a part of nature. We ARE nature. So it's no surprise that nature mirrors what's true for us.
Every interaction we have with people is an energy exchange. But the difference between that interaction being draining or energising is wether we're in a state of FLOW or not.
👉When our body expresses itself, were in FLOW.
👉When we speak our truth, were in FLOW.
👉When we're helping people from our heart, we're in FLOW.
Being in flow is energising and energised people are MAGNETIC!
With my clients who feel drained, we identify WHERE their energy is stagnant and bring it back into flow again. Even though it's unique to everyone, the most common things it boils down to are these 👇
➡️ Mental Stagnancy:
Confused about WHAT to do and the confusion is draining you.
For this you need clear priorities, simple and distilled information, thought out goal setting and relentless consistent action.
➡️ Emotional Stagnancy:
You know what to but the lack of motivation is draining you.
For this you need to check the clarity around your WHY, remind yourself of it and align with it. Ceck for and heal beliefs that are sobotaging you. Create an energising daily routine.
➡️ Physical Stagnancy:
Your body feels weighed down and it almost feels like it's out of battery (commonly comes with a craving for coffee, nicotine, sugary/fatty foods)
For this your body needs to express itself, in one way or another.
These three are not isolated from each other, but it's helpful to see them in that way for the purpose of understanding!
The other day I went to see my GP AGAIN about a stubborn skin condition I had. I had dealt with it before but it just kept on coming back again and again. Every time it came back, it would be more than the last time.
When I saw someone about it previously, they gave me some medicine to treat it at home. It was some gnarly medicine, almost dissolved your skin in the process, but it did what it was meant to do.
Got rid of the symptoms that came up.
Fast forward 6 months though and it would come up again, even worse that the last time!
How many times has this been happening to your in our life? Where you just try and get rid of the immediate pain you're feeling at the moment. Either through;
👉Numbing (e.g. alcohol, chocolate, food, smoking),
👉Distraction (Tv, overloading yourseld with other tasks which you've ramped up the importance of, scrolling through social media mindlessly)
👉or through a "Quick Fix" of the immediate pain.
And what that eventually leads to is, the core problem growing and the symptoms getting stronger and stronger until they're too painful to numb, distract ourselves from or find a "Quick Fix" to.
It usually feels a bit like:
- Being spreading incredibly thin
- Focus all over the place
- Lack of direction
- Don't want to get out of bed in the morning
In NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) we have a saying "Find the difference that makes the difference".
So if you're feeling agitated, unfocussed and unpassionate about what you're doing it might be a sign to look a bit deeper.
Generally speaking there are 2 ways to understand the core cause of a pain you're feeling:
1) Seperate yourself from the chaos and observe from a distance what is happening objectively. People who practice meditation get extremely good at objectively being the witness of their thoughts. But even if you're not a yogi; journalling, monthly reflection systems or simply a break can work as amazing reflection tools.
But sometimes we're in it too deep to understand the core cause just from reflection. So then;
2) Consult an expert. Their ability to facilitate a reflection process for you, combined with their specialised experience and their toolkit/skills will speed up the process hugely for you.
When you understand the CORE cause, even before you do anything about it suddenly you feel incredibly clear and incredibly motivated about what you need to do.
In my life I come across so many people who have an incredible potential and a secret desire to have an impact on the world, but they're tangled in the net of treating symptoms and so are stagnant, bored, unfulfilled and unfocussed. And the thing about treating the symptoms, like my skin condition, is that it's NEVER ENDING!
In my experience there's 3 core causes of feeling like this:
1) Unclear and un-articulated vision/purpose (so focusing on the instant rewards that when you achieve it you just want more of it)
2) Self sabotaging core beliefs & habits
3) Lack of knowledge/tools to move forward
That's it. Once you identify what it is, that's half the game!
So THEN what do you do?
DEEP SEATED ACTION.
Act on the core cause and watch the symptoms dissolve. I see this happen every day in my 8 week transformation course and see the blossoms of inspiration, longevity of relationships, internal peace and the building of your legacy <3
However, be warned knowing the core cause isn't some kind of magic wand. DEEP SEATED ACTION is. One is awareness, the other is change, a transformation.
I was talking to a really interesting guy the other day. He runs 4 businesses and takes the weekends off religiously to spend time with his family. 👨👩👦👦He's had to get one of those gadgets from Amazon that lock your phone away and don't release it until the time you set it to arrives 📱
Anyone know what I'm talking about?
But then when he's working in the week on one of his 4 businesses, he's constantly guilty that he's not spending more time with his kids or his wife. So he makes himself SO busy, that his sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight mode) kicks in and he physically doesn't have any time to think about anything else. 💼📈📉📊🕴️ He actually loads more work onto himself than needed to be able to focus!
Then he goes out for business drinks with his clients in the evenings. 🥂 And thinks to himself "I should be going to the gym more... and not drinking so much. Why am I here?". But then he drinks more and gets drunk to forget about it all and actually relax with the client.
I mean when you look at it from the outside, there's nothing wrong with what's happening here. At the end of the day, he's with his family every weekend, running 4 businesses in the week and relaxing with his clients when they go out for "casual" meetings.
Slight glitch though if you haven't seen it allready!
He feels shit. He's constantly tired and can't fully enjoy anything he's doing.
He achieves that image with external stimulation whether it's the Amazon phone box gadget, an overloaded schedule for himself or it's alcohol.
The cost of this is, NOTHING he does gets the BEST version of him. You know, the part of our brain responsible for multitasking and switching between thoughts takes up 10% of our brain capacity (our frontal lobe). Imagine giving everything you do, only 10% of your potential!
So the difference between this guy and someone who fully ENJOYS his life and business is their ability to stay present. Being fully present means knowing and believing in the purpose of what you're doing and dedicating a 100% of ourselves to it.
Of course, this like everything else takes practice. Our brain is a muscle and needs practice on staying present. What you practice you get good at. And when you're good at something, you see results.
In my 8 week transformation program, I create custom meditations for my clients to practice this daily.
4 hours after sending Heba her's, she messaged me saying "I've just finished listening to the meditation you sent me... for the 7'th time in a row! I just LOVE it! If the whole course was just about this meditation I would be satisfied. I just LOVE working with you <3 "
After 2 sessions with Rie she informed me that the charity fund raising that she had been putting off organising for ages, she finally gave her all to it and surpasses the target amount. She says "The two meditations changed the way I looked at the whole thing. I feel the world or universe it behind me. Where can I get more of your meditations?"
What are you holding back by giving only 10% of yourself to what you do?
Would you like to be a 100% in everything you do personally and professionally?
If NO, I doubt you would have made it this far in the post! :D
If YES, book a call with me.
It's a totally FREE call with no strings attached where we dedicate a whole hour to getting to the core of where you've been getting stuck and the steps custom to you to get your spark back.
It's a total steal and will honestly give you, at the LEAST some immense clarity.
You know, I recently spent 2 weeks in Spain competing in the World Championships of Freestyle kayaking. When I got back I was so tired, physically. All my muscles ached and sleep didn't seem to be enough.The good thing was though, that I could still work on my business while I was out there. And it was such an inspiring, fresh environment full of explorations, new challenges and connections that in the sessions I had with my clients, I was incredibly energised and had some amazing session while I was out there!
Have you ever felt so physically drained but emotionally you're on a high so you just keep going. Like you're connected to this unlimited source of energy?
Who has felt that way?
But perhaps you've also felt the opposite?
When you've ate well, slept well... but you just feel drained. You wake up anxious, got no motivation to do anything and can't focus on what you're doing. Mentally and emotionally drained!
If yes, then you know how heavy it feels!
The amount of responsibility we take for energising ourselves, directly correlates to the performance of our business, the culture we create and in the long term - the legacy we're able to leave.
So if growing an amazing business and leaving a legacy is what you want to do, you're going to need energy for that.
So how can we avoid being totally drained?
There are 3 ways we get our energy. We need to be on top of all 3 of them to thrive. Sometimes, when one is particularly high - it can make up for the lower two, but to be at our very best every single day, we need to know how to energise oursleves in all 3 ways every day.
What energises our body is PLAY and NOURISHMENT. So run, dance, jump, sing... do what you need to do and give your body REAL food it needs.
An energised mind is a focussed one. This doesn't happen when you don't know what to focus on.
"So we set goals?" I hear you say. But blindly setting goals doesn't bring focus on it's own. Knowing WHY you set those goals is what's going to give you the CLARITY your mind needs to be laser focused.
What we focus on is what we act on. And what we act on creates our reality. So feed your mind NOURISHING thoughts through visualisations and affirmations.
What we think affects how we feel. But the more we practice stabilising our emotions, the less power our thoughts have over how we feel.
Meditation, nature and moments of stillness are the keys to mastering finding CALM, being fully PRESENT and finding emotional energy.
Do you have the routines in place to energise yourself daily?
If you'd like some help with it reach out!
I DID IT!
I represented Turkey in the World Championships of Freestyle Kayaking 🇹🇷 I got 16.67 points and am over the moon with it
Going into the event, I had 3 goals;
1) Create genuine connections
2) Actively get myself out of my comfort zone & into uncertainty
3) Become friends with failing, so much so that I never see it as an obstacle again
And MAN, did I achieve those!
Meeting, supporting & celebrating with international paddlers like we've known each other for years.
Connecting with family and friends following my journey from the start.
Sharing every step of my journey (even the hard bits) on live videos
2) Comfort zone: From Accommodation drama to being a the only Turkish paddler. From competing against the BEST freestyle paddlers in the world to overcoming relationship challenges and growing in this new environment... YES I was out my comfort zone.
3) Failure: The night before my competition I practiced on my own for a whole hour. The whole hour I got trashed & rolled about. A few moves worked but most didn't, I felt frustrated, I got off the water, then got back on again. But once the competition came, I got the moves I wanted (2 spins - 16.67). I was prepared for zero's, which some people got, which is why I was over the moon when I saw that both of my rides scored something. Looking at the below photo after my first ride, my sister thought I'd won (VERY far off :D)!
You may know that when I first arrived into Spain, I struggled with understanding why I was here and how this fit into my bigger purpose of helping people live in-line with their authentic self so that they can make a meaningful impact in the world. That's how the 3 goals I listed above came about.
I have realised stronger than ever that the FEELING of "purpose" is one of the most sought after things in the world. But most of us don't UNDERSTAND what it means. We can't logically comprehend it because it's so hard to measure ⚖️. Which leads to us just being fine with the "empty" feeling we get left with.
WHAT DOES PURPOSE ACTUALLY LOOK LIKE?
I believe it looks like making a meaningful impact in the world.
Some people think it looks like medals or money, some people think it looks like having a happy family, a good work environment or lots of awards. Some people even think it looks like NOT making money at all.
But through this event and from my business journey beforehand I have came to the blatant realisation that all of these are the RESULTS of living with purpose. But in the world we live in, we're brought up to believe that they ARE the purpose. So we strive for them. Spending time, energy and resources on getting each individual one.
We get frustrated when we can't get them. And when we do get them, something starts to happen...
People are now realising, as they and the generations before them achieve these "results" and make it "to the top"... that there is something deeper that they're missing. That the FEELING of purpose they're looking for isn't in the THINGS they achieve after all.
Wether that's in competition, in work or in life.
If you're still on the cusp of understanding, let me speed up your realisation for you.
If it can be taken away from you, it's not your purpose. No one and no thing can take your purpose away from you.
Publicity and money are FUEL to amplify who we are inside.
Especially in business!
Who we are inside and the "results" we see in our business has a direct connection. So starting from ourselves and working from the inside out, is more relevant to business today, more than it has been ever before.
I call them purpose-based businesses. The ones where the owner is so clear on their purpose and so free of emotional baggage ... that the business makes a meaningful impact on the world while being wildly successful and surrounded by an incredibly inspired community.
Being a purpose-based human is the difference that makes the difference. The "results" that we strive for, suddenly become connected to each other.
The time it takes to realise this is different for everyone. For some... as soon as they graduate. For others, when they reach the "very top". And some know it all along but just don't do anything about it. This is why, when you start something, your motivation levels feel great and as the excitement wears off it plummets.
But the questions is, do we always have to learn the hard way or is there a way to work from the inside out from the start?
This is my mission. This is why I help create purpose-based humans and businesses and this is why I do not identify as a business coach, or by an label at that; because it doesn't capture the depth in which my work goes.
If you've read this far and if you too want to live as a purpose-based human, I have a question for you... and I want to know your answer!
How have you been measuring purpose so far?
Realisation is the first step to change. Write down below <3
Sending lots of love,
My dad was the first person to introduce white water rafting to Turkey. He started off running rivers by trying to join car tires together, he then ordered his first raft from China. Once he knew how to use them, he turned them into a commercial trips, which quickly gained traction. So much so that people who saw his success started copying him. Before the river was dammed, there were tens of other companies trying to offer the same service on the same river.
This happened in the other areas he worked in too. Sea kayaking, hiking, canyonning, mountain biking... There was always someone who offered a cheaper deal. However, people still kept choosing my parent's company over theirs.
I watched him become the leading outdoor specialist in Turkey. Mentor younger guides. Have clients come back requesting him especially as the guide.
I always was inspired, but I never knew exactly what it was about him.
Last time I was in Turkey I found out what his WHY was.
"To help people connect to nature so that they can have mentally and physically healthy lives without having to resort to the artificial alternatives"
So he always would make the BEST meals on his trips, provide the BEST entertainment and have meaningful connections because of his WHY. Something none of the other companies had. People believed in his WHY, so were attracted to him over the companies who lacked one.
This is what happens when a sense of WHY or purpose is lost:
- Loss of passion
- Unclear direction
- Lack of energy
- Lack of dreams
- No way of measuring success apart from money. So the sense of fulfillment wavering in direct correlation with money.
With a sense clear sense of WHY comes:
- Loyalty from customers and employees
- Longevity of your work
- A filter to see if opportunities, people, and staff are a right fit
- Natural energy, motivation and focus
- A way of measuring if you're on the right track that is separate to income: making a meaningful difference
- The more you give the more you receive. An increased impact means increased fulfillment and increased growth
With an articulated sense of WHY:
- People can continue the legacy you left, it doesn't stop when you stop
- Allows more and more people to believe in what you're doing and join the movement
Is this the kind of life that you would love to create for yourself?
Aligned with your WHY, fulfilled and making an impact?
If YES, lets have a chat where we get to the core of exactly where you're getting stuck and the steps you need to take to go forward. It is totally free and will likely be the most valuable 45 mins you will have spent time on this year.
I don't know about you but I believe in a world where we live in-line with our true AUTHENTIC self .
To me that means reaching my fullest potential, being deeply fulfilled and creating a meaningful difference in the world.
Business and money only amplify who we already are and what we stand for.
If you're confused about your why, about what you stand for and your purpose - then confusion and vagueness is amplified in your life and business.
This leads to surface level interactions, fluctuating and unpredictable levels of focus, energy and motivation, lack of dreams, sense of repetitiveness...
Sound familiar? Then I have a question for you...
Is this what you want to spend your life amplifying?
Because deep down, you have a lion(es) in there that knows you're made for something more, that you're able to make a masterpiece out of your life and be deeply fulfilled.
When it roars, that's when authenticity starts flowing naturally.
When it roars people listen, not because it's loud but because they believe in it.👂
The 5 steps that allow your lion to roar unapologetically are as follows:
1) Release your lion(es) from the cage of fear, doubt and comfort it's been living in. Healing and breaking through
2) Let it explore with curiosity and bravery the sound of its own roar. Who is this lion(es) and what does it stand for?
This isn't the step you find out WHAT you want to do but, WHY you are doing it. Getting crystal clear on your why, your core values and your gifts... because this is what you will be amplifying when you roar!
3) Dream a vision. A vision that amplifies your WHY. One that pulls you forward every day and you know HOW your roar is going to make a difference in the world
4) Reverse engineer WHAT needs to happen for the vision to become reality today, next month, next year and further
5) Take action, receive feedback, adjust course and take action again
I followed these steps in my own journey and they're the exact same steps my clients go through in my 8 week Roar Authentically program.
I got a message from Ed just yesterday, who has been in my Roar Authentically program for 5 weeks now;
"Everything is aligning perfectly. One of my best periods of my life here (so far)!"
Seeing this honestly lights me up!
If this is the type of message you would love to write too and if authenticity, fulfillment, energy, focus, motivation and impact sound like the things you want to amplify in your life and business, let's have a chat!
In the call we will identify exactly where you're stuck and create a customised game plan for you to move forward. If we're a good fit, I will invite you to work with me, but even if not it will be packed with value and give you some newfound clarity!
Today I stayed up untill 10pm working! I ate a two light meals, went for two walks in the sun with Ben (my dog we're looking after), had a session with a client, talked to some prospects and suddenly it's 10pm!
I'm not an advocate of staying up late working but I am an advocate of having something worth staying up late and working for.
3 years ago when I was still at uni, I had a shit ton of work to get through and zero motivation to get through it.
So a Thursday might have looked something like; get up anxious about the mountain of work I need to do, go to my morning lecture, come home have lunch, make a cup of tea, do 20mins of coursework, decide I need to have another cuppa to focus, do 15 mins of work, spend 20 mins of Facebook, go get a snack, come back and go on Facebook, watch all my you tube videos again, decide it's time for a break, feel guilty that I haven't done any work, do 30 mins of work, then decide to go to the beach for an evening walk. Start work again at 10pm, work for 1-2h then go to bed exhausted, drained, feeling unproductive, unsocial and anxious about repeating it again the next day.
I thought it was about my ability to focus. I thought it was that I wasn't hard working enough. Not ambitious enough. And even when I did give it my all, I still didn't get the best marks. I thought I just wasn't good enough!
But I now know, it wasn't because of any of those things. I wasn't doing what I loved doing! My heart wasn't in it. My soul wasn't in it. So there was no source of natural energy, motivation or drive.
In my work now, I know I'm making a difference. In the hard day's I have the focus and motivation to solve problems and keep going. In the good days I celebrate like I've never done before. I have the preserverence of a river, will power of a waterfall and the adaptability of water in different containers.
It all started with listening to my intuition. Then taking action which felt scary and uncertain. Getting myself amazing mentors. Getting clear on my dreams, core values and unique gifts. Doing the inner work to breakthrough my mental and emotional blockages. Dedicating myself to physical, mental and emotional health and giving permission to myself to thrive.
A transformation, without which I would still have thought I just wasn't good enough.
Do you feel the pull to have unlimited natural energy, focus and drive in your life and create meaningful impact?
We live in a world of "fine".
Even if you don't feel happy. Even if you feel like there's more to life:
"Yeah, it's not ideal but I'm fine"
"This is how it's always been. I've survived. I'll be fine".
"I don't really know how I would change. Anyway, it's fine"
Of course, this is fine... if "fine" is where you want to be.
But here's why "fine" can be such a dangerous place to operate from.
1) It is a limbo state where the situation is not ideal but you convince yourself that it not bad either. So therefore there is no motivation to change.
2) This thinking pattern leads to numbing the parts of you that do long for change and want to thrive.
3) Therefore you stop trying to improve and grow out of your rut, and start focusing on the "not so bad" parts of your situation and remind yourself that it could be worse; in an attempt to ease the pain
4) This state of limbo can cost you without you even noticing. Relationships, your well being, money and energy, years and decades of time... And who knows what else.
The only 2 ways to get out of this limbo state is to:
A. Continue until it's so painful that change forces itself upon you (hitting rock bottom)
B. Acknowledge the severity and urgency for change and act on it now
So fuck it. No more lying to yourself. No more numbing. You are so worth it. The world needs you to thrive.
So, head out the sand and answer this:
How much is it costing you to stay "fine"? Emotionally, mentally, in relationships, time-wise or financially?
In spring 2017, I decided to go on a gap year. I didn't call it a gap year then but when I look back, what I did was custom design a transformational year as a highway to my dream life.
In hindsight, it marked the beginning of really living a life that's on my own terms. Here's the 7 levels of depth to how that happened:
1. The Plan: The plan is not to have a plan
In a journal from May 2017 I wrote about wanting to create a life full of belonging, freedom, authenticity and purpose. I had figured that much out from my life experience so far but what would a life like that actually look like?!
After uni, I decided I didn't want to pursue a career in geology. So I clarified my dream exactly and then let go of any attachment to how I was going to achieve it. I wanted to achieve my dream by following my heart and my nose, by turning any opportunity into something that will serve me and through the magic of spontaneity.
The plan was to not have a plan. The direction was to achieve my dream life. So for the first time in my life it was the dream that was concrete and apart from a vague idea, the plan was not. Read on to find out how this was probably the best way to start my gap year.
2. Experiences: Each experience I have, brings me closer to my goals
First stop, Bali. Mt. Agung was errupting at the time and my flight would not have been able to land if I had arrived 2 days later. I became a yoga teacher. It was a month filled with love, gratitude, huge amounts of learning and moving through challenges with compassion. I was basking in the indonesian beauty, climate and spirit. It has given me a gift to connect with my feminine whenever I need to.
A couple of months later I moved to a beautiful small town in Western Australia and worked for a company called Adventure Works where I worked with teenagers in the outdoors helping them with their transition into adulthood. I learnt so much about managing dynamics, holding delicate conversations and turning conflict into learnings but perhaps the biggest thing I got out of it was seeing how a small company operates. An invaluable system to observe first hand.
While still in Dunsborough, I got to teach yoga twice a week and truly experienced the gift of giving. The life energy that I felt from delivering a beautiful class to beautiful people was amazing!
During a part of my stay here, I lived at a yoga retreat centre with the owner, her 4 kids, 2 dogs, 12 chickens and a sheep. I was an au-pair and helped out with the kids and business in exchange for delicious ayurvedic food ever and a love-filled home. I reconnected to the joy of play through the kids and since I left that place, I have had some amazing rituals in place to look after my wellbeing. What a gift!
The training was one hell of a month filled with love, gratitude, huge amounts of learning and moving through challenges with compassion. One of the challenges was the erupting Mt. Agung. The other was me trying to hold onto a relationship from my ''old life'' during a period of rapid transformation and personal growth. I eventually realised that with personal growth the right relationship also evolves.
Overall I was basking in the beauty of the island, sacred teachings, strong friendships and a great feeling of empowerment that I'm now actually qualified to earn money by doing something I love. But I knew that it was the first step into the journey of creating a life full of that feeling.
4. First leap of faith
During the training I started thinking about where I was going to spend Christmas and what job I was going to do in Australia. I really didn't want to be on my own in a hostel room during Christmas and I really didn't want to just work in a cafe in Australia after experiencing so much purpose i Bali. As I was trying to stay as present as possible on my journey to becoming a yoga teacher, I only ended up applying to 2 jobs in Australia. One was a company called Adventure Works in Western Australia who work with young adults, taking them on outdoor expeditions while having important conversations about their transition into adulthood. After a skype interview with them with very dodgy Balinese internet, I got the job!
5. Generosity of distant friends
I had one month before I had to be in Perth for a training to start the job. So I flew to Canberra to stay with a friend I met in Russia on a volcanology field trip. We had a bbq on Christmas, spent the week exploring the Blue Mountains and drove down to the coast south of Sydney for New Years (2018) where we ate, played the guitar around the camp fire and woke up to 2019 on the beach.
The month before I started at Adventure Works turned out to be a great time to travel and connect with the distant people I knew in Australia. In Sydney; I met Vicky, A family friend as well as Claire O'hara the 2018 freestyle kayaking world champion. In Adelaide, I met my life coach Juliet Lever and when in Perth; I stayed with Sandy Robson, a well-known kayaker that paddled from Germany to Australia.
When I finally got to Dunsborough, to the little paradise 3 hours south of Perth that would end up being my base; I was very lucky to be welcomed at my mums friends house who by chance happened to be living very close to my work.
During this month, I was exposed to the generosity of people I only know very little. It was heart warming to have homes opened up to me and create beautiful connections around Australia. Its a beautiful feeling when a door is opened in a place that feels so far from home.
6. Building a new life in Western Australia
Within a matter of days I had bought a car for £900 and was renting a spare room in a locals house with 2 sausage dogs and a beach view! I was surrounded by a new community of people passionate about making a difference. I felt valued for my outdoor experience and supported in holding important conversations with young people. I was teaching yoga twice I week in a beautiful studio and I realised that for the first time in my life that I was earning money only doing stuff that I loved and wanted to spend my time and energy on!
3. Qualifications: Amplifying the progress towards my goals
My yoga teacher training was the first qualification I ever got where I could actually earn money by doing something I loved. But it was just the beginning.
Since my childhood, I've been exposed to the outdoor activity for recreation industry through my parent's profession, which helped me get jobs along my journey. But Adventure Works was what bridged that gap from an outdoor educator to the personal development coaching field. Realising my passion for how powerful the mind is, I returned to England halfway through my gap year and studied to become an Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner. I understood so much about the human brain and consequentially about my and all young people's potential. I started smashing all my goals I set myself.
Throughout my gap year, I developed a brand of my own called Be Water Yoga and Coaching where I worked 1-1 with people doing mindset coaching as well as private and public yoga classes. However, the bit I was unfamiliar with was the business side - I had no idea! But the right teacher attracts the student, and when the time was right that's exactly what happened. I found a mentor who taught me how to set up my own consulting business and I started specialising in helping young people define and achieve their dream life without any wasted time. So Alara Vural Coaching was born. What a rewarding investment!
4. Communities: I realised that on this trip, I got to attract my own community. Everyone I interacted with was because I consciously choose to.
- Dogs. I had such a strong calling to have a dog on this adventure of mine, but logistically it was a nightmare But looks like the universe was listening because I had a dog with or around me for the whole trip!
- Distant friends. I was welcomed into a very distant friends' arms like I was their sibling. No matter what the circumstance, no matter how late I called; the generosity of people I hardly knew left me feeling like I belonged wherever I went.
- Yoga friends. These were total strangers to me who I would now call siblings. Bonded through our dedication to yoga and sharing of such an raw experience. These are friends that I might not constantly talk to but can count on whenever I need to.
- Tribe. The beautiful people I met in Western Australia through work, through the yoga classes I taught and through the yoga retreat centre I lived at (Premalaya). Since knowing them, I feel like I belong. I feel that they've got my back, they affirm I'm on the right road and that I have a home there always.
- Mentors. My yoga teachers, books I read, seminars I went to, my life coach, my consulting mentor. I never thought I had role models but after this journey, I have a list!
5. Lessons: Exactly what I needed to learn to be the person who can achieve my dreams
- Being transparent.
I had a boyfriend before leaving England whom I admired so much. But we knew that long distance wasn't going to be easy. When in Bali, I felt divided. I was so present in every part of my life and evolving but holding onto a relationship I had before I started my journey. We kept being transparent and kept communicating until I realised that the right relationship evolves with the evolving individuals. However, when it had been about 4 months since we hadn't seen each other, I felt I was attracted to a friend. This was a very difficult and vulnerable time for both of us and by being brutally honest and open with him, not only did we overcome the challenging time but our relationship grew stronger because of it. He later came to visit me in Australia, I went back to the UK for a few months during my NLP training and by the time I was flying back out to Australia again to start my second season with Adventure Works we knew how we would make it work. Communication and connection.
- Risk vs. security balance.
I saw the value in taking risks and grabbing opportunities while appreciating the security of having a stable family to live with, a home back in the UK, a beautiful family in Turkey. Never before have I been so out of my comfort zone than I was when I was on my gap year. Be it when I landed in Bali and I only applied for a couple of jobs in Australia; be it when I moved to WA and had 4 days to buy a car, find accommodation and sort all my work documents out or when I tried to build a social life from scratch. But eventually, being out of my comfort zone became comfortable and I was making the most of opportunities.
- Listening to intuition/callings.
My number one guide in deciding on where to go and what to do. Its surprisingly easy to do when you have the space to be whoever you want to and all the noise of external influences on you are silenced.
- Overcoming fears.
As any tourist does, I was also terrified of snakes and sharks in Australia. When my mum came to visit me, we went to a reptile centre and for the first time in my life, I held a Children's Python. As I was holding it, I could feel my brain re-wiring itself and changing the beliefs it has around snakes. I had the same realisation around sharks when I met someone who has dived with the 5 most dangerous sharks in the world. He said they are inquisitive but really have no intention of eating you. When witnessing his passion and love for them, I realised the less we know about something, the more fear we have around it. What a paradox!
- Speaking my truth.
Through situations where I was misunderstood or was done wrong I learnt to have difficult conversations around with dignity, integrity and honesty. As a person that used to actively avoid conflict and confrontation, it was very hard for me stand up for myself. But I thank myself every day now for staying true to myself.
Perhaps one of the things most worried about on a gap year, but it is no more than an irrational fear. I self-funded my whole gap year which included 4 long haul flights, 4 short haul flights, 3 courses/qualifications, a car and accommodation. It is possible. You do have to give thought to it and not be reckless but with the right mindset finance is not a limitation to having a transformational gap year.
6. Tools I learnt: The 3 powerful tools I obtained that are perfect for the job when it comes to achieving my goals
- Yoga and wellbeing practices: Surrounding my self with principles, practices and students of yoga, I learnt some skills and developed practices which mean that I can bring myself into balance and maintain a healthy wellbeing through everything I go through
- Safe space: My love-filled month in Bali, the beautiful nature of Dunsborough, the family I lived with, friendships I made... All of these are very vivid in my mind
- Mindset tools: Through studying to become an NLP practitioner; I learnt some priceless mental tools to deal with anxiety, limiting beliefs, internal and external conflict, overthinking, setting goals and re-generating feelings and strengths as and when I need them. Like I said, it amazes me what the mind can do how huge the potential of each individual actually is.
7. Returning mindset and plan
Feeling a beautiful sense of completion, when I came back from my gap year, I knew exactly what I wanted and how to go about it. I decided to work with young people to help them define and achieve their dream life. I have learnt what I need to, built a beautiful community of people, got amazing and relevant experience, got training in my passion and am ready to add value to the world with it. I feel a great sense of calm and excitement at the same time!
Alara believes that the path to a fulfilled life is to make a unique meaningful impact in the world. So she now helps business owners and is an NLP practitioner, a yoga teacher and a Contemporary Rites of Passage facilitator. She helps entrepreneurs align their life and business with their purpose in 8 weeks.