One thing I love about the 90-live days challenge I'm doing at the moment on the Be Water Yoga and Coaching facebook page is that my daily life becomes my teacher that I can then share with my viewers. I was blessed recently with my soul sister that I met at my Yoga Teacher Training in Bali visiting my in the UK. On one of our long walks in the evening walking Joey, our dog; I was very thankful for my gift of articulation as we discussed a topic that is quite often misunderstood in today's world.
Dreading the thought of past relationships that go south.
Hating our ex.
What is a soul mate?
I first realised what I am about to explain now, when I was at uni. I mentioned it in my blog post ''Top Things I Learnt from Uni that aren't my Degree''. After the same topic coming up again with my friend the other day, I based Day 32 of the 90-live days challenge and on it and now I want to expand on why we never stop loving and why regret is a waste of energy.
We are attracted to people for a reason. Because with everyone we ever interact with we have something to exchange and grow from. That is why we attract them. Some people come into our lives to teach us one thing. They might not even know what it is. In fact most people are forever confused about how the hell someone has ended up in their lives. A person that treats us like dirt may be there in our lives for us to realise our self worth and that we don't deserve to be treated in that way. But on the other hand we might meet someone super empowering that teaches us that we're not just a leaf in the storm. We have the reins and its not about what happens to us, it's about what we choose to do about what happens to us. Most of the growth that happens through interactions with people we attract, never get verbalised, but can be felt and acknowledged.
This can be with someone that we meet for an hour, a friend we are close with for a year or a romantic relationship we have. But however long the relationship lasted, we had it for a reason and it had to happen in order for us to be who we are today.
When the lesson that we need to learn is learnt and we have grown; the attraction fizzles out, the relationship has served its purpose and its time to let go. This is why holding on to dead relationships does not serve us. It was right at the time but now it is like a tree holding onto its dead leaves. Recognizing when its time to let go is a very humble and empowering act.
However, there is an exception for this. If the two people who are attracted to each other both learn what the other has to teach them, they both grow. From this growth they now have something new to exchange and teach. They grow the learn, they grow more they learn more. This sustainable elevator model is the key to life-long relationships. Soul mates perhaps we could call them. Or soul sisters, brothers.
If a lesson stays unlearnt it will keep on repeating itself until it is learnt. This can be in the form of
1) Vicious cycles in relationships which can easily turn toxic
2) Attracting the same type of people over and over again into our lives (romantic and other)
All the more reason to ask: What am I learning from this relationship. Why did I attract them into my life. How can I grow from this?
''Change is the only constant'' Heraclitus (A Greek philosopher)
Embrace it. Enjoy it.
Alara believes that the path to a fulfilled life is to make a unique meaningful impact in the world. So she now helps business owners and is an NLP practitioner, a yoga teacher and a Contemporary Rites of Passage facilitator. She helps entrepreneurs align their life and business with their purpose in 8 weeks.